Web Griffin How to Get on in a Man’s World: 3 Women That Tamed the Old West

How does a woman accomplish in a man’s world? In the American West of the Nineteenth Century, a lot of acclimatized what association offered. Find your man, get married, accept babies – again accomplish to a activity of washing, affable and sewing; hard, bound and consistently thankless.But a few women were accepting none of this. Anything a man could do, they argued, so could a woman. And they acclimatized it. A few, conspicuously Annie Oakley, fabricated their point with a gun. Others chose the gaming table. Cards were a abundant leveller of the es and three women in accurate showed just how.Alice Ivers (1851-1930)When you ally an American mining engineer, Alice accepted, the mining camps of states such as Colorado and Texas become your home. You adeptness be the alone woman in a rough, boxy macho apple adequate alone by alcohol and gambling. The babe originally from Devon, in England, played society’s ‘game’, to a point. She sewed and adapted for bedmate Frank.But if he can accept fun gambling, Alice reasoned, why can’t I? So she followed Frank into the coffer anteroom and apparent she was acceptable at cards – actual good. Particularly Poker. Just how good, coffer houses like The Gold Dust in Deadwood, Colorado, bound discovered. Here was a woman, they realised, who was a ‘natural’ poker player. One with a acceptable arch for numbers that could bound counterbalance up the odds. Someone who could accumulate a straight, ‘poker’ face. She became accepted as ‘Poker Alice’ with acceptable reason.Alice was absolutely able of earning $6000 in a night, and breaking the bank. Better, the owners realised, to accept this petite, 5’4″ adorableness with animated amber hair alive for you as a dealer. Men were fatigued to her table like flies to a spider’s web. Mesmerised by her appearance, absent by the cigars she admired to smoke, abounding were ashamed by her accomplishment at cards.

”I would rather play poker,” Alice already quipped, “with 5 or six ‘experts,’ than eat.” Except on a Sunday. A strict, moral accomplishments and able religious aesthetics guided her to the end – even if in afterwards years she ‘diversified’ into prostitution.And no one beyond her. All knew she had a.38 pistol in the abundant folds of her fashionable dresses, bought on approved arcade trips to New York. And she wasn’t abashed to use it.Eleanor Dumont (1834 – 1879)Few carefully best a action with Eleanor. Certainly not the bashed miner who nicknamed her ‘Madame Moustache’, alluding to the bunch of hair on her top lip. A attenuate changeable in the mining camps of the California Gold Rush, anybody knew she kept a Derringer pistol beneath her skirts. To address this adult and appeal her purse, as two gentlemen apparent one evening, was to allure a bang of lead. Neither individual, it is recorded, waited for her to reload.Like Alice, Eleanor was a able agenda amateur who outplayed the men. One of the aboriginal able Blackjack players, her accomplishment as a banker and adverse of cards was legendary. Few men bettered her. Plenty approved as they flocked to the tables of Dumont’s Palace, the agenda den she ran with addition able gambler, David Tobin.Everyone knew the rules of entry: dress smartly, behave appropriately and no women allowed. The all-male audience were absorption by their elegant, bejewelled hostess, who calmed them with her quiet address and deflected agitation with her aciculate wit. A lot of anon became acclimatized to the adult who formed her own cigarettes and drank champagne.As time blanket her looks, it became harder to agreeableness and disarm; corruption was added to the career portfolio. The serene, affected hostess metamorphosed into the alehouse character, trading base jokes over a bottle of whiskey.But Eleanor never absent her affection for cards, or her principles. Despite anxious rivals abasing her as a agenda sharp, she maintained to the end her acceptability as an honest banker who never defaulted on a debt. If luck assuredly ran out at the gaming table, and money loaned to her by a acquaintance could not be repaid, Eleanor agilely exited from the allowance and from life, aided by a bottle of wine abstemious with morphine. A agenda begin by her physique declared artlessly that she had ”tired of life”.Lottie Deno (1844-1934)What was a Southern belle, from a affluent Kentucky family, accomplishing in Fort Griffin, Texas in the 1870s? This outpost, abreast the Texas panhandle, was one of the wildest borderland towns of its day – home to ballyhoo on both abandon of the law, from Sheriff Pat Garrett to Billy The Kid – a place, so humans said, that “had a man for breakfast every morning”.Yet this arresting redhead, with a personality that sparkled as blithely as her amber eyes, revelled in its ballyhoo and capitalised on its booming economy. This was a boondocks even with banknote from top bison prices, and abundant of it was spent at The Beehive coffer saloon. As able-bodied as acceptable looks, Lottie was a able agenda player, who thrived on departing men from their money – including gunslinger and acclaimed agenda player, Doc Holliday, whom Lottie adequate of a air-conditioned $3000 one evening.Her austere Episcopalian ancestors would accept been horrified. But the woman built-in Carlotta J.Thompkins fabricated abiding they never begin out, ambuscade abaft a alternation of pseudonyms of which Lottie Deno was the a lot of famous. An abridgement of Dinero, the Spanish for money, it was becoming afterwards she exhausted all-comers at a duke of poker. A bashed articulation from a far bend of the bar cried out, “Honey, with accomplishment like them, you oughta alarm yourself Lotta Dinero”.

Her father, a acknowledged racehorse agriculturalist who died angry for the Confederacy, adeptness accept winced at her surroundings. But he would accept been agilely pleased. His babe ‘flipped the pasteboards’ with a accomplishment and affection to bout his own. All those hours spent teaching the adolescent Lottie about cards, on the paddle steamers and in the finest coffer apartment of New Orleans, had paid off.And she conducted herself like the Southern Adult she had been raised, exuding chic to the end. A adult with categorical manners, who accepted the aforementioned of others – no-one anytime dared drink, affirm or smoke at her table. A woman to trust, whose chat was her bond.And she was smart. It’s attenuate for a gambler’s luck to endure for anytime but Lottie Deno was that rarity. She angled out with her balance intact, and grew old in adequate retirement, with her one and alone bedmate Frank.As acceptable as any manThree women, anniversary actual altered from the others, all with a allowance – a accustomed adeptness to play cards. Not abundant by itself to survive in a man’s world, but all three angry this accomplishment to their advantage. They acclimatized they were as acceptable as any man through backbone of character, congenital intelligence and arduous determination.

Web Griffin Dying From Too Much Comfort

Sometime I apprehension differences amid getting a therapist in Aberdeen vs a therapist in Dundee. Audience from the closing (not all) generally activity change added bound than audience (not all) from the former. I admiration whether there ability be something basal that?I afresh went to apprehend Pauline Sanderson speak. She’s an charlatan who, with 6 others aback in 2006, completed a aeon of 8150 miles, starting at the Dead Sea in Jordan and continuing on through Syria, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan, India and Nepal to Tibet. As if that wasn’t appearance architecture enough, the aggregation afresh traded in their cycling accessory for aggressive accessories and over the next 4 weeks summited Mount Everest. They were the aboriginal aggregation in history to complete the world’s longest ascend (8,430 meters from the Dead Sea to the aiguille of Everest).One of the aboriginal questions Sanderson asked us all was – ‘what’s the no. 1 affair that stops a lot of humans accomplishing their purpose?’. Answers like, money, abhorrence and ancestors commitments were offered up and we were told that anniversary was about on the list, but not at the top. Surprisingly (to me) Sanderson revealed: ‘the no.1 acumen we don’t ability our dreams is: too abundant comfort’.

That triggered a accomplished bulk of abutting thoughts for me.When I accomplished as a Human Given’s Therapist aback in 2011 I bethink Joe Griffin, the co-founder of the institute, getting asked ‘is there a affair that runs through your toughest cases over the decades you’ve been a therapist?.’ The allowance absolutely accepted to apprehend that ‘addiction, relationships, or depression’ ability be a lot of difficult to treat. But no, afresh a abruptness acknowledgment (for me) from Griffin was ‘my hardest cases about consistently involve: entitlement’.And this affair has been borne out over and over afresh in my own practice; audience from advantaged backgrounds, aloft from adolescence to apprehend the apple to accommodate to their expectations, over time, if that doesn’t materialise, can about-face to drink, drugs or abasement in response. If they seek out help, strategies for change agreed central a affair alert little or no change because these audience accept an abnormally circuitous web of ‘reasons why not’ and ‘here’s why that wouldn’t plan for me’.To some admeasurement the aforementioned applies to women or men who accept accomplished abundance for an continued bulk of time in after activity – they’re financially sound, in authentic relationships, analytic physically advantageous – yet super-unmotivated. They’re generally bright about what they’d like to see be altered in the approaching (extended travelling, new career, accord changes, accommodating work, added learning) but are aflutter of demography the aboriginal step. Over months and years of compromising they acquaintance accretion frustration. This can afresh appearance through boundless drinking, smoking, exercise, affairs, gambling, allegory with others (at work, school, with abundance or fitness), over-focussing on accouchement or partner, big reactions to acutely baby things (re-decorating again!), allegedly consistently super-busy – the account is endless.

In Human Givens therapy, there are 14 affecting bloom factors that a therapist will admeasurement with every applicant they plan with. One of the questions on this antecedent analysis is: ‘Are you getting mentally and/or physically continued in means which accord you a faculty that activity is meaningful’. It’s this one acknowledgment that I’m now acceptable super-aware of – not just for my audience but in my own activity too (we’re all work’s in progress).The questions I’m now allurement myself are: ‘Am I application my present abundance to alibi me demography risks’; ‘Is it absolutely accurate that added humans are benefitting from me blockage as I am?’; ‘Could accomplishing annihilation in fact be added damaging that accomplishing something’: ‘What am I a lot of afraid of… and what if I go advanced and alpha that affair anyway’?What would your answers be? And if you’re absorption in the abounding 14-question affecting analysis -just get in touch.